Promises, Promises – “The Power of a Promise” 

Promises are powerful. We make all kinds of promises, of course (and keep most of them…), and the bigger the promise, the bigger of a deal we tend to make of them. And for the biggest promise most of us ever make, we actually invite all of our friends and family to be witnesses – and the government even gives us a tax break for making it. That promise is the marriage promise – the promise of a lifetime.

1.  The Power of a Promise (Genesis 2:18-23)

• The promise of marriage is so important that it shows up in the first pages of the book of Genesis, in the story of how God put our world together and gave it order. In Genesis 2, God declares that something in his perfect creation is “not good” – that the male human he created is alone. So God creates the female human – “flesh of my flesh, bone of my bone.”
• “At last,” the man declares – rejoicing that God has created someone like him, someone who fits him, someone he can spend the rest of his life with, together in intimate partnership. It’s “the Promise of Together,” and it’s powerful because it creates a lifelong “umbrella” under which a couple can flourish and become what God created them to be.
• That “umbrella” – the power of the promise of marriage – is a gift from God that gives us someone we can talk with about anything, someone we can depend on at our weakest points (while being strong for each other as well), and someone we can enjoy shared activity with – “doing life” together.

2. The Promise of the Future (Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:4-6) some text
   • So what is the promise, exactly, that allows us to flourish under the umbrella of marriage? The story of creation in Genesis continues by describing it – and centuries later Jesus reiterates and clarifies it.  The promise is this: “The two are united into one.”
   • At its essence, the promise of marriage is the promise of the future – a future together as one. It’s an incredibly powerful promise – a promise of hope – but the best way to understand it may be to look at what the promise is not:some text
     1. It’s not a promise of “chemistry” – Marriage isn’t a promise that a couple will always like each other, be attracted to each other, and feel “happy” about being with each other. At times, we’re all unhappy – and our own unhappiness exaggerates the shortcomings we see in our spouse and in our relationship. But the promise of marriage is meant to be the protection that moves us through times of unhappiness and toward the fullness and flourishing that God has planned for us.
     2. It’s not a promise of a “perfect package” – Couples tend to go into marriage believing that “everything good about my fiancé will stay good, and everything bad will get better.” It doesn’t take long, of course to realize that that’s not true, and that that’s not what the promise was about.
   • The promise of marriage is the simple promise of a future together – that I will love you through the struggles I don’t even know about yet, and forgive you for the offenses that haven’t happened yet. A promise that we will grow together for life; a promise that will allow us to flourish and become – together – what God has created us to be.

ADDITIONAL SCRIPTURE

These passages may provide additional insights related to the subject of this week’s message. All verses are NLT unless otherwise noted.

Numbers 30:1-2; Ecclesiastes 4:9-12; Malachi 2:13-16; Ephesians 5:21-33; 1 Peter 3:7; 2 Peter 1:4

Video of the Week: Marriage Promise by OneTimeBlind

QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION AND DISCUSSION

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1. In general, how important is it for you to keep the promises that you make? Is it a big deal for you to break a promise, even a small one?  Explain your answer.

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2. Why are promises so powerful – both the ones that we keep as well as the ones we don’t? 

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3. The message used the metaphor of an umbrella to describe the power of the marriage promise. An actual umbrella protects us from rain and sun; what would you say the “umbrella” of the marriage promise protects us from? 

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4. Read Matthew 19:4-6 again.  In your understanding, how does Jesus’ statement that “the two are united into one” (in marriage) equate to “the promise of the future”?  Does being “one” together ensure a good/happy marriage in the future?  

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5. If the marriage promise isn’t a “promise of chemistry” or a “promise of a perfect package,” then is it realistic to believe that marriage will really give us “someone we can talk with about anything, someone we can depend on at our weakest points, and someone we can enjoy shared activities with”?  Why or why not?

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6. If a young couple asked you – with all the stress and unhappiness they see in marriages around them – why you think marriage is worth the effort, what would you tell them?

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